Saturday, December 23, 2017

The Power of Nightmares

Things have been going good for me. My moods have been in order, I reconnected with my father (more on that later), work is picking up, and everything is good. Not perfect or ungodly wonderful, just good. Then in comes the nightmares.


I never had nightmares before, well I did. Thing is my nightmares have never been normal. Scary things like murderous teddy bears and vampires I have never classified as nightmares. To me they are simply a new creative idea to write about. They don't scare or frighten. What does effect me is the normal stuff, the bad dreams that awaken old wounds. They reach deep within and pull out the terrified child I once was—warped and distorted by sorrow and tragedy—and bring her to the surface. These nightmares play on my darkest fears of returning to become an abused slave to my family. Nothing stalls my heart more.

Last night I suffered from one of those dreams, and every time it happens I'm amazed at the effect they have on me. A simple fantasy movie playing outside in my head has the ability to alter my mood—shift my perspective on the world, and bring me down into the deepest depths of my own personal hell. It's not fair, but then life often isn't.


Usually, when something like this happens I spend a day trying to avoid it. Tired as all hell, I busy myself with silly tasks like cleaning, dishes, projects that I shouldn't be working on. Anything that takes actual mental power I avoid. I'm simply too tired to do it. After a day of being blah, I then finally start to tell my husband what my dream was about—what caused me to sleep without resting. I downplay the events per-usual. He hugs me, I continue to feel like shit for a few more days before the memories fade from my mind.

Today, I'm going to try something different. Today I'm posting about my nightmare—facing the events. Maybe that will shorten the length of my suffering. I doubt it will, but I'm stepping out into new territory. As I write this I'm debating erasing it and going back to house cleaning, but I refuse to run away.

Last night I dreamed I was being molested by family members while I slept. This has actually happened to me. Waking up and finding yourself in a sexual position with another person is one of the most. . . well, there is no words to clearly express how horrifying it is. Paralyzing, is a good way to put it. You freeze and wonder what you did to urge this person on to touch you in that way while you're most vulnerable. Knowing you're not safe while you're sleeping in your own bed. I wish that on no one.


That wasn't the worst part of the dream, nope. It gets so much worse.

When I went to my mom to tell her about what happened, she blamed me for corrupting the people that were touching me—for making them a sexual deviants. Then, she told me to get over it and grow up, it wasn't like I was raped. Just touched.

Saddest part is. . . My mother has actually said those things to me. I feel guilt over my own emotions because I haven't actually been raped by most of my abusers—it's like being half a victim. Not enough for people to give a full shit about. The middle ground is an awful place to be.


The dream went on from there with me trying to get out of my mom's house—trying to break free and having no where to go. Knowing I had no money, little to no real friends, and no one that could help me. . . I'm all alone in a horror movie—trapped by the people that are suppose to love and protect me—told my emotions—my pain, doesn't matter. It shatters the soul.

That's where I am today, shattered.


Cast against the rough shores of life, bloody, broken, and hurting in places no one can see. I'm in anguish. While I can have good days, far more than I used to, there are always these awful ones. The nightmares that plague me while I sleep, making me a victim all over again. I will continue to relive my past for as long as I live, but it's the hope and memory of better days that keeps me going. That makes it a battle worth fighting, even when I'm broken.


#SexualAbuseVictim #Fighting  
~Jax~

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