As I worked on the outline this afternoon I see the chapter headers and general info laid out and think, "Damn. . . DAMN, just a year of my upbring is more messed up than Jerry Springer special."
Here are the first 30 chapter titles. They speak volumes on their own.
Women’s Conference
Chapter 1
(Being laughed out for my depression and beliefs)
Life of The Party
Chapter 2
(Young Party Mom)
First Heartbreak
Chapter 3
(Bring ripped away from Nana)
Shitty Green Carpets
Chapter 4
(Sleeping on Motel Room floors (1st sexual abuse))
A1
Chapter 5
(Our apartment the contained hell)
The Girl In Fourth Grade
Chapter 6
(Second sexual abuse encounter)
Trust Mother
Chapter 7
(New brother and sister, no marriage, I mysteriously get sick after eating at moms)
Pennsylvania
Chapter 8
(Moving 3,000 miles away from family.)
Alone In the Dark
Chapter 9
(Left alone, outside the room and family)
Our Family, Our Business
Chapter 10
(Beaten into keeping my mouth shut about abuse)
The Academy
Chapter 11
(Stepdad goes to the State Police Academy, becomes more of an ass)
The Year I Can’t Remember
Chapter 12
(Major sexual abuse/rape. 1st time I think about suicide. I was 10)
A Cry For Help
Chapter 13
(I tell the school something sexually awful happened to me. Mom allowed a doctor to rape me to prove otherwise)
Another Move
Chapter 14
(We move from that school district when they start asking too many questions. Now I know not to say anything.)
Hello Dad
Chapter 15
(Meet my dad and mom tells me he hates me.)
Split
Chapter 16
(Mom and stepdad split up, I become mom's lifeline to what sanity she has left)
I Understand
Chapter 17
(The kids start to get gifts, goodies, and more to help deal with their parents breaking up. Mom says I don't need that stuff bc she can't afford it. I tell her I understand. I don't though.)
Over the Mountain
Chapter 18
(Sam and Chet can do no wrong, we move again for them)
What Does She Look Like?
Chapter 19
(Mom avoided me for months while living in the same house. I forgot what she looked like for a long time.)
Blame Game
Chapter 20
(It's always my fault. Everything. Every. Last. Thing! My fault)
No Dreams For You!
Chapter 21
(Mom breaks me down. Tells me I'll never be anything because I'm fat and lazy)
The Chosen One
Chapter 22
(Samantha, the queen of the house. My sister is not just the baby of the family but the monarch)
A Scream For Help
Chapter 23
(I breakdown and cry in my mom's arms, telling her I don't know why I feel so upset all the time. She does nothing)
Dan
Chapter 24
(Sexually assaulted by mom's boyfriend.)
For A Mother’s Love
Chapter 25
(I refuse to press charges and when mom asks, I allow her to bring Dan back into the house)
The Limit
Chapter 26
(New school, sexually assaulted, living with abuser, mom degrading me more. I have nothing left)
The Art Life
Chapter 27
(I find comfort in art, and finally in online fantasy role playing.)
Fear of Fantasy
Chapter 28
(Mom doesn't like me role playing, she fears my creative nature, and bans me from all creative outlets. Art, computer, music, drawing, ect.)
Senior Year
Chapter 29
(It was hell, no one cared what I wanted. It was all about them.)
Another Move
Chapter 30
(God, I hope it's the last one.)
And that's all I got so far. There are still a lot more to go, probably another 20 chapters. Not sure yet, but damn. Isn't that enough?
#SurvivorTale #Abuse #SexualAbuse #BadMom
~Jax~
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