Monday, October 1, 2018

Therapy Sucks, So Do It!


Yep, it sure does. Therapy is the most shittiest thing I've ever undertaken. It strips you down, bares the raw ugly. You cry, you relive the past, start to question your life and if the therapy is really working. You suffer doubt like never before, and you start to come to terms that not everything you thought—what you thought was normal—isn't normal at all. In most cases your idea of normal is really messed up, and your way of thinking is even more distorted. See are brought before all the awful in your life, it's paraded out in front of it.


AND. . . It's worth every awful, sucky moment. It's worth the hard work, the mental struggles, the tears, and the pain. Therapy is the shitty conflicted middle of a great story with a contently ever after.

The first day I walked into my therapist office I was hopeful. Relieved, even. No more suffering for me. No more of battling day in and day out to survive, the reinforcements were here. I was ready! The disillusion that I would show up, talk and then everything would be better in my life was taking away the pressure of my anxiety. Compared to what I lived through therapy was going to be easy.

Yeah, no.


Don't get me wrong, I felt great for the first few months. Every week I went to see my therapist, I talked, she listened. Gauging my emotional range, my thought patterns, ect. She offered advice here and there. Nothing major. Then the work began. My therapist became more involved in our sessions, asking me questions. Saying things that made me look at my life—the world—my thoughts—differently. It was a new perspective I wasn't used to, and my head did not like it. In fact, it rebelled.

Six months in to almost a year I was miserable. Not sleeping, nightmares, awful thoughts. I had serious bouts of awful depression, everything seemed to trigger me and old memories I never wanted to deal with popped up randomly. Honestly, more than once I wanted to stop. It didn't feel like anything was getting any better, instead I felt worse. There were long stretches of depression brought on by reclaimed memories, and exhaustion from battling my evil mental self. I thought, “I'm worse. Everything is worse. Therapy, what's the point.”


I forced myself to go, every week, every other week. Have there been days I've canceled because I haven't felt up to it?

Yes.

I've canceled because I don't see the point in therapy, which is an old thought from my family that believes therapy is for the weak. Well, I have news for them. Therapy is fucking hard!


Not everyone can go through therapy, it's a journey. Like a fictional story, there are ups, downs, loop-to-loops, cliffs, waterfalls, and so much more. It's a pilgrimage to a better life that isn't happy, because lets face it do you really want to be happy all the time? That would be exhausting. It's about finding balance and contentment.

Therapy sucks, yes. It's not for the weak or faint of heart, it's for survivors—for warriors—that strive for betterment, and once your on the other side you can see how the pain is worth it. The rewards are in-measurable.

For example, two Saturday's ago I had my first panic attack in over two years. At first I saw it as a defeat, but no. It's a lesson. I have triggers, I will always have triggers but I was strong enough to test my boundaries without second guessing myself. I went into the small store that was crowded to see if I could fight through the anxiety. I did for awhile, but in the end it was too overwhelming. Now, I know where my challenge line is, AND I was quick to recover from the event. I didn't shut myself away all weekend. Nope! I was out and about later that day, not hidden from the world.


WIN!

Then there is something that took place a few weeks back. I cut a toxic friend out of my life. Instead of keeping myself in an exhausting and draining relationship I pushed past my fear (I'm always afraid of having no one to hang with or a friend close by). I realized our friendship wasn't serving me at all. Cass, my friend, would take from me everything. She exploited our friendship, and by remaining friends with her it was doing damage to me and to her. She needed it pointed out that what she was doing isn't right. So I broke things off, and honestly I felt great afterwards. Best part, I feel no guilt. I wasn't even upset when she acted like a four year old and bashed me online, and screamed that I attacked her (verbally), which I didn't. I simply wrote her a message outlining why I wasn't able to be friends with her any longer. How it was hurtful to the both of us.


Two years ago, hell a year ago, I would have never been able to do any of that. Or if I did it would have been a major traumatic event filled with shame, guilt, and regret. Today I sit here writing this and I feel none of those things, because I know I matter. My feelings matter, and I have a right to be content, unburdened, and not stressed. I have a right to cut toxic people out of my life because I'm worth better. Being an abuse victim, and living through what I have makes this is all very major. . . like supernova major!


I would have never made it to this point without therapy. Sucky, difficult, shitty therapy. It pushed my limits, helped me work through my past—my trauma—and all the damage other people have done to me. Therapy gave me, me back. A person I was unfamiliar with, but I love her now. I still have a lot of work to do in therapy, but looking back to a year ago—seeing the awful state I was in compared to now—Yeah, therapy is worth every painstaking moment. I encourage everyone to try it, even if only for a little while. It's worth breaking your destructive and negative self-cycles, and you can do it. You guys are already warriors for being here. Never stop fighting!

#Survivor #Warrior #Abuse #SelfPower #Depression #AnxietyWarrior
~Jax~

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